Living our lives means experiencing major disruptions at certain points in time. Actually, we expect to have these types of experiences because it is part of being human. The normal life cycle has periods of predictable life disruption such as moving from childhood to the adolescence years, and all those changes that take place, and opportunities for exploring the world and relationships are presented. Adulthood responsibilities, parenting, middle aged reflection on life, retirement, and aging are other expected stages of life that may cause disruption for some. And, some people seem to sail through these without much difficulty.
Other periods of disruption are caused by unexpected events that can alter life activities in a major way. Events such as sudden significant illness, car crashes, the death of a loved one, divorce, becoming the victim of a crime, becoming unemployed, and financial upheaval as well as other changes, challenge our ability to cope, Any of these situations, can become pivotal depending on our ability to be resilient.
We all have the capacity to reorganize our lives after a disruption and to achieve order and meaningfulness following a period of disruption if we know how to activate our ability to be resilient. In fact, we may need life challenges in order to mature and grow emotionally. So, many of these life disruptions, are not necessarily negative things, if we grow and develop skills to use for future challenges.
Cultivating resilience depends on a number of things in addition to achieving closure on previous life experienced. People who are resilient have many of the following characteristics or resources:
- A support system
- A sense of hope and trust in the world.
- An ability to tolerate pain and distressing emotions
- a good self-image and self-respect
- A capacity for self-reflection and insight
- Varied interests and a sense of humor
All of us can learn methods to become more resilient. However, sometimes a lack of closure on life experiences in our past can prevent the activation of our learning new coping skills. By working with a qualified helping professional a person can gain closure to unresolved conflicts, and move forward through life with a sense of mastery and resilience.
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