Caring, Sharing, and Giving Are Good for Your Health

October 19th, 2011

The unexamined life is not worth living.” –Socrates

The ongoing American healthcare debate and the Occupy Wall Street movement has brought to light, sometimes in a painful, ugly way, the lack of altruistic thinking of some people. More of us could become in touch with a lifestyle choice that could bring us a wealth of happiness, integrity and wellness. Altruism seems to have grown out of favor over the past several decades, though it has been a part of human interaction throughout history, cooperation and sharing has always been a hallmark of what binds a group or even a culture together. Two or more people giving their resources can produce more than two individuals acting alone in most situations.

However many people have adopted an attitude of self interest, believing they have worked hard for what they have, so why should they give to others or an organization? This shift in thinking seems to be linked with a weakening in our sense of community, and a break down of family. We have higher divorce rates, an increase in children being diagnosed with serious emotion issues, and more distance between socioeconomic classes. We have put an emphasis on self-interest and greed, rather than empathy, compassion and sharing, while some in our society grow wealthy others are sinking into poverty.

The remedy to this societal trend lies with each individual. When enough people become conscious of how self-interest is infused into their lives and they challenge it by cultivating a new way of living, it spreads throughout the culture. Recent studies of brain activity indicates that we have a natural trait toward altruism, in other words we are hardwired to be kind, caring and giving. Exploring this part of your self can bring you back into harmony with your natural state, and can improve your well-being.

Volunteer work has been shown to be beneficial in many studies, it can–
–Enhance the functioning of our immune system
–Lower cholesterol levels
–Reduce stress
–Improve cardiovascular functioning

Many people are caught in the trap of materialism. Working hard to make more money to buy more things, and the more things they want the more they need to work, which diminishes the time they have to use the stuff they have worked so hard to buy. Our lives become focused on self-interest and we loose touch with the richer life that comes from having a connection to the community and sharing what we have with others.

Many times people find that they are truly happier with a simpler life, and they find the quality of their everyday living can be much higher when they give themselves the gift of time. Think about the simple abundance that is in your community, literally in your own back yard, and share your gifts and talents with others. You can always feel good about helping others, and make a contribution to help others.

A professional helper can guide a person as they explore the reasons they have fallen into the consumerism trap, and help them develop the skills needed to feel okay with living a simpler lifestyle.

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Understanding Pet Loss

June 7th, 2011

by Cynthia Lindner, MS

The Private Sorrow of Goodbye

In a past entry I wrote about the benefits of having pets… health benefits and emotional benefits. This entry is about coping with and understanding the grief when a pet is lost or dies. Not everyone understands the enormity of the grief experienced by a pet keeper when their companion dies or is otherwise lost. A person grieving the loss often finds themselves lacking social support. The degree of attachment felt between a person and the pet who dies is a good indicator of how strong the grief reaction will be.

People experience the loss of a pet in a way that is similar to the stages of grief when we loose a close family member, and as with other types of grieving it is a process. The process usually begins with a feeling of numbness and disbelief. There can be times of deep sadness, depression and guilt. It is also possible that a person may feel anger directed at self or others about the loss. Perhaps at the veterinarian that didn’t do enough to save the pet, or toward other people for not understanding how deeply hurt one can feel. The decision to euthanize a pet is typically difficult because of strong feeling of guilt especially if the decision had to be based on finances. Even when money is not the issue there may be feelings of guilt for not doing enough to prevent the injury or illness that caused the decision to euthanize the pet.

Strong Bonds Equate to Strong Feelings of Grief

Grieving pet keepers often find themselves preoccupied with with memories and thoughts of the pet and a decreased ability to concentrate and focus on daily activities.
There can be individual differences in how we react to the loss of a pet. People who live alone or lack strong ties to others may find it more difficult to adjust to a pet’s death. People who feel that others understand their loss seem to process their grief more quickly.

When people die we have a set of societal or religious rituals to preform which inevitable helps us to move through the grieving process. Unfortunately, we have no rituals for morning the loss of a pet, in fact, it is somewhat discouraged. The reality is that a pet may be our closest companion or a surrogate child in the situation of a childless couple or “empty nesters”, and a source of unconditional love. Caring for an animal may be an important part of our daily routine, so when our pet dies the impact on our lives can be greater than when a person dies.

http://clinicalhypnotism.com

Advanced Hypnotherapy

Port Jefferson NY 11777

Phone: 631.473.0405

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How to Make Positive Changes in Your Life

May 5th, 2011

By, Cynthia Lindner, MS

clinicalhypnotism.com (631) 473-0405

Why do people seek out a Professional Counselor or Hypnotherapist for help?  There are many reasons a person may seek help. Some people would like to understand themselves better, while other may have a particular issue or self-defeating behaviors they want to address. Perhaps change is needed because the behavior is harming their health, interfering with their relationships with loved ones, or making it difficult to hold down a job.

healthyThe list of self-defeating behaviors is endless.  People want to stop smoking, and abusing other substances. They want to stop eating “junk food”, become a healthy weight  and exercise more.  They want to have fewer arguments and have more productive discussions with family, friends and coworkers.  Many desire to get their anger, anxiety, procrastination and controlling behavior transformed to calm optimism, so they find someone to help them make a positive change.

Making life changes is easy for some people and a daunting task for others.  Sometimes people have some success, but after a while they relapse back into their old patterns.  Perhaps they weren’t ready to make the change in the first place.

Research has identified six major stages in the change process, as discussed in Changing For Good by Prochaska, Norcros and DiClemente.

First, is the Precontemplation Stage, this is when other people such as family and professionals can see there is a problem the person with the problem fails to see it and feels no need to make a change.  They may agree to work on an issue because of external influence, or they want to quiet the nagging, but they are prone to returning to the behavior once the pressure is off.

Moving into the Contemplation Stage the troubled person is tired of feeling stuck in life with the self-defeating behavior, and can admit there is a problem, though they may not yet be willing to change it, still preferring the familiar.  It is during this stage that people begin to define their own goals.

There is a Preparation Stage– There is an awareness of the problem issue, a person makes plans and gets ready to do the work of making a change happen.  There is typically an increase in motivation, and a person may make the commitment to change public, such telling friends that a new diet will start in a week and asking them to not tempt them with baked goods, for example.

The Action Stage is the stage that is most visible to others.  Since changes are truly being made, a therapist can shift the focus to learning new strategies to maintain the changes over time.

Which brings us to the Maintenance Stage.  It is a time to make the changes that have taken place and make them part of everyday life.  You may think of the term lifestyle change taking place of the word diet.

There is the Termination Stage when the lifestyle change has become the natural behavior and there is no longer a battle with one’s self over having a smoke, a drink or overeating.  It feels like temptations are no longer a concern, and the person can live their life with out fear that a relapse will occur.

A skillful therapist can be a helpful partner through all of these stages by examining why change may be difficult and finding solutions to those obstacles to change, and help the person stay the course by working through the difficulties.  I would also like to mention that a person may not just move through these stages sequentially. A person may advance to Preparation, and the find themselves back at the Contemplation Stage.

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6 Tips Help You Reduce Weight and Keep It Off!

April 20th, 2011

Lasting weight loss demands that a transformation of your eating and exercise habits takes place, and using hypnosis can help people to look forward to eating and moving in a way that reflects a healthy lifestyle. Many other choices we make each day, such as how much time you spend sleeping or surfing the Internet, can also make a difference. The seven habits described in this article can help you move toward your goal weight.  Most target the common reasons people become overweight.

To get started, just do one thing differently. Choose the one that seems the most feasible for you, and work at sticking with it for a week. Once you’re doing it fairly consistently, add another one. Over time, you will realize that many of these behaviors can be interconnected.

1. Set small, specific, and reachable goals.

Perhaps you’d like to be the same size you were in high school or when you got married, but that would mean dropping more than 50 pounds. Don’t go there — not yet, at least. Set a more realistic goal of losing 5% to 10% of your weight, and give yourself plenty of time and some flexibility to reach that goal, keeping in mind that most people take at least six months to achieve that degree of weight loss.

2. Begin self-monitoring.

Writing down what you eat and how much you exercise can help you gain awareness of your behaviors and track your changes toward specific goals. To keep tabs on your what you are eating and how much activity you get, you can go low-tech (a pocket-size notebook with a pen) or high-tech (a smartphone app). There are even free sites on the internet to help with this. The idea is to create some mindfulness and identify areas you need to improve.

3. Eat a reasonable breakfast every morning.

Some people skip breakfast because they’re too rushed or they aren’t hungry. See if getting up 15 minutes earlier (which means going to bed earlier so you don’t loose sleep time) to make time for breakfast and practice putting down your utensil or sipping water, coffee, or tea between bites. Refrain from slamming down a fast food sandwich, or a bagel with a slab of cream cheese. Instead, have some whole grains, some protein and fruit.

4. Get active.

Work at adding activity to your day. Swim laps at a local pool, go dancing, play Frisbee, or take a brisk walk. Finding an activity that you really enjoy will make it easier to stick to a routine, and incorporating new types of activity can keep you challenged and less likely to become bored. Depending on your fitness level, you can start slow and gradually add more time and more vigorous activities

5. Make sure you’re getting enough sleep.

Research has shown that inadequate sleep can lead to weight gain. Most people need about eight hours of sleep a night, give or take a little. Some people may need more, some less. You’ll be able to tell if you’re getting enough sleep when you wake up feeling refreshed and ready to go, rather than groggy or tired.

6. Check and change your screen time.

Many people who struggle with weight complain that they don’t have enough time to exercise or to go grocery shopping and prepare healthy meals. But, most people do spend several hours watching TV or using their computer for entertainment. Keep track of your screen time for a week, then work at reducing the number of hours by a quarter or a third, and devote that time to your weight control efforts.


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Hypnosis Can Help You To Become A Non-Smoker

April 14th, 2011

Hypnotherapy is one technique that is a natural way to help you teach your subconscious what your conscious mind already knows– that using tobacco is harmful. Hypnotic intervention helps you to recognize the benefits of being a non-smoker, and return to the non-smoker you were born to be. You may learn new ways to cope with stress. During private sessions, your personal issues are addressed. We realize that people want to be smoke free for different reasons. For some, the reason for becoming a non-smoker is health concerns, while for others the concern is social acceptance. Some smokers are fed up with the rising cost of cigarettes, and others are angry about the apparent lies put forth by the tobacco industry itself. If you have tried other methods for quitting, but failed, private hypnotherapy may be right for you.

Hypnosis for Stop Smoking Video

Self-Help Tips

Here are some tips to use while becoming a non-smoker.

-Enjoy your meals without overeating; eat slowly and pause between bites.

-After dinner treat yourself to a mint or cup of herb tea with a touch of honey.

-To wakeup in the morning take a quick walk or do some other exercise.

-Take a deep breath and exhale slowly, the desire to smoke has passed.

Advanced Hypnotherapy, “Best of Long Island” 3 years in a row!

Call (631) 473-0405 to discuss how hypnosis may be helpful to you.

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Hypnosis can Help Trauma, and PTSD

March 21st, 2011

By, Cynthia Lindner, MS

Most of us conduct our lives around the belief that we will be relatively safe. Catastrophic events such as what happened in Japan as a powerful Earthquake shook apart buildings, and created a massive tsunami, for many people, that belief was shaken. Aside from this there is gave concern over radiation leaks at damaged Japanese nuclear plants. This natural disaster has destroyed property, taken thousands of lives, altered the lives of millions, and for very many people across the world, undermined feelings of safety.

Events such as this are outside the realm of people’s ordinary experience. Catastrophic experiences are not limited to war and natural disasters ( hurricanes, tornados, flooding, tsunamis, earthquakes, etc.) but also include rape, physical or sexual abuse, fires, auto accidents, school shootings, plane crashes, hostage situations, and exposure to other violence such as car-jacking, mugging, and military combat. It is not only the victims of these events, but also witnesses, families of victims and helping professionals who can develop severe symptoms of stress, which can potentially become long-lasting.

The anxiety experienced during or immediately after a catastrophic event is identified as traumatic stress. When symptoms endure several months after the incident, it is classified as post-traumatic stress. Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) is the term used by mental health professionals to characterize people who have endured highly stressful and frightening experiences and who are having severe distress caused by memories of that event.

Hypnotherapy In The Treatment Of PTSD

A clinician skilled in the therapeutic use of hypnotism can use hypnosis to facilitate the processing of the traumatic memories, and facilitate alternate perspectives and consequently different responses to the memories of trauma.  Hypnosis as a management tool can be used to develop skills in relaxation, and teaching individuals to use self-hypnosis as a self-help tool can have an empowering effect for the individual who used it to manage their symptoms, and enhance the process of healing.

PTSD is very treatable, especially when it is caught early. The idea behind the treatment is to process the traumatic event, as well as manage the symptoms. A qualified Therapist can help the person with PTSD to find the words to talk about the incident and to understand the feelings that accompany the experience, rather than to avoid things associated with the trauma. Though it might seem natural to want to avoid painful memories, it is important to acknowledge the memories, feel the emotions and work at processing them.

Cynthia Lindner, MS is a certified hypnotherapist with over 20 years of experience working in the mental health professions, currently with a successful private practice on Long Island, NY.  She has specific expertise in applying the complementary modalities of guided imagery, hypnosis, and biofeedback for the purpose of attaining wellness, self-improvement, and with Doctor’s referral, relief of pain and symptoms. Cynthia has taught workshops at international conferences, and has written several published articles on the subject of hypnosis.  She provides services to adults and children, individuals and couples. http://clinicalhypnotism.com

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This St. Patrick’s Day Don’t Drive Drunk

March 16th, 2011

By, Frank Lindner, MS, LMHC

St. Patrick’s Day in America conjures up thoughts of going to parades, enjoying ethnic food and perhaps drinking a few beers with friends.  Many of these pleasurable experiences will find people away from home, and if drinking is part of the festivities for any holiday or occasion, plans should be made for transportation, such as a non-drinking designated driver.

In the work I do preforming evaluations and treating individuals who have been arrested for DWI, I can tell you people from all walks of life have made the mistake of driving under the influence.

On any holiday law enforcement is expected to increase traffic patrols on the lookout for drunk drivers in an attempt to prevent alcohol related crashes and fatalities.  If you drink and drive your chances of of being caught are greater than ever before. The STOP-DWI Law has increased both enforcement and prosecution of drunk drivers.  State and local police are doing blanket patrols and checkpoints to aid in the apprehension of drunk drivers.

These efforts not only effect people who are addicted to alcohol, but also the social drinker who may have one too many, and fails to exercise good judgement and have a plan to safely get back home. I recommend making plans for how you will return home before arriving at celebrations where alcohol will be served. It is also a good plan to have back-up strategies for your plans because sometimes situations change. It can be a good idea to designate a sober driver and a back-up sober driver before going out. You may also program cab numbers into your cell phone’s speed dial in case your designated driver plans fall through.

Have a safe and enjoyable celebration this St. Patrick’s Day, and remember if addiction is a problem, treatment and recovery are attainable.  Coming to terms with addiction can mean a return to a meaningful, beautiful life, and being the complete person we are all meant to be.

Frank Lindner, MS, LMHC helps adults, children and teens to develop coping skills and changes in thinking for dealing with issues such as Depression, Anxiety, Grief, Stress, Codependency and other issues that affect us from day to day. He is among New York State OASAS certified providers which form the nation’s largest and most diverse addiction treatment system. Frank is qualified and is approved by OASAS to do assessments for DWI cases.  He can be contacted by phone. Dial (631) 473-0405

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Pets Help People To Be Well

February 22nd, 2011

Can you name one medication that can lower blood pressure, boost our immune system, increase motivation, lessen the impact of depression, help with PTSD, decrease feelings of loneliness , elevate self-image, and help cultivate our ability to trust?   We can’t either, but these are just some of the benefits of healthy pet keeping.  Under most instances having a pet is a healthy and healing experience, pets can also help people to be more social.

Early contacts between our ancestors and canines benefited both species, and a dependent relationship evolved.  The animals first enjoyed food scraps and eventually accepted and enjoyed physical contact.  The humans benefited by having a warning when intruders were approaching.  Today it is estimated that 50 million households have pets.  Dogs and cats are most popular, but people also enjoy pet birds, fish, hamsters, rabbits, and more exotic pets like reptiles, hedgehogs and even tarantulas.

Pets can provide a significant source of emotional attachment that can be as important as the bonds formed between people, sometimes the bond with a pet can even be stronger than those with people, because bonds with many animals are perceived as unconditionally positive.  Pets can be our most personal and trustworthy companions because they are always there for us regardless of how we look or feel.  We can gain structure to the day by caring for our pets and we can demonstrate nurturance and love toward them, even when it seems like there is no one else available to receive or understand our love.

Of course, even with all the benefits of having a pet, it is not something to be entered into lightly.  Pets need to be cared for, and not only fed, they also require grooming and veterinary care.  Some people’s lifestyles are not suitable for some types of pets, so learning about how to keep a certain kind of pet healthy and happy is important to do before getting a pet.  A person who smokes tobacco may want to stop before bringing a pet home, and make that part of “pet proofing” the home.  Pets demand little from us, yet they are a source of immediate and consistent feedback, a benefit that is often hard to find in the social world.

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How to Deal with Emotional Pain

February 15th, 2011

When someone experiences a major life disruption, such as, the death of a loved one, a  relationship break up, serious illness or auto crash,  becomes a victim of crime or survives a natural disaster, it may not always be best to take medication immediately.  When emotional pain is alleviated with medication (or through alcohol or street drugs) the person’s motivation to make changes is lowered, and what can be learned by going through the process of managing emotional pain can be missed.

Of course, there are times when medication is useful and necessary, especially if a person is having suicidal thoughts that may accompany clinical depression.  This is a medical decision between the person and their doctor. This article is intended to give general information, and not to recommend treatment, which are decisions made by persons together with their healthcare provider.

When we experience a life disruption or crisis we need time to gain insight into what has gone wrong and work toward integration.  Emotional pain, while unpleasant serves a purpose, just as acute physical pain does in alerting us that something has gone wrong in our body.  Pain signals us to take action.  The purpose of emotional pain is to move us to learn new ways of coping.

There are some strategies that people in a state of crisis use to successfully deal with emotional pain.  These methods do not end the pain, which has value, but they offer us some relief from the emotional pains.

Sometimes we need to remove ourselves, so we can create a diversion, by planning a short trip, reading a book, talking with a friend, or getting some exercise.  Diversion allows us time away from the problem so that when we actively attend to it again, we may look at it in a “different light” or with “fresh eyes”.

Another strategy for coping with emotional pain is to take charge of those aspects of your life that you still have some ability to control.  Often a major life disruption can leave us feeling like life is spiraling away – totally out of control.  However, we can do some of our routines and self-care, and let the things that are uncontrollable run their course.

Finally, we can find someone who can show us empathy.  Reliving emotional pain by talking with a trusted friend or therapist is an effective strategy.  It is helpful when someone can say with caring and conviction that they understand and care about your pain.

Help is just a phone call away… 631.473.0405

http://clinicalhypnotism.com

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Rebounding from Difficult Life Experiences

February 14th, 2011

Living our lives means experiencing major disruptions at certain points in time. Actually, we expect to have these types of experiences because it is part of being human. The normal life cycle has periods of predictable life disruption such as moving from childhood to the adolescence years, and all those changes that take place, and opportunities for exploring the world and relationships are presented. Adulthood responsibilities, parenting, middle aged reflection on life, retirement, and aging are other expected stages of life that may cause disruption for some. And, some people seem to sail through these without much difficulty.

Other periods of disruption are caused by unexpected events that can alter life activities in a major way. Events such as sudden significant illness, car crashes, the death of a loved one, divorce, becoming the victim of a crime, becoming unemployed, and financial upheaval as well as other changes, challenge our ability to cope, Any of these situations, can become pivotal depending on our ability to be resilient.

We all have the capacity to reorganize our lives after a disruption and to achieve order and meaningfulness following a period of disruption if we know how to activate our ability to be resilient. In fact, we may need life challenges in order to mature and grow emotionally. So, many of these life disruptions, are not necessarily negative things, if we grow and develop skills to use for future challenges.

Cultivating resilience depends on a number of things in addition to achieving closure on previous life experienced. People who are resilient have many of the following characteristics or resources:

  • A support system
  • A sense of hope and trust in the world.
  • An ability to tolerate pain and distressing emotions
  • a good self-image and self-respect
  • A capacity for self-reflection and insight
  • Varied interests and a sense of humor

All of us can learn methods to become more resilient. However, sometimes a lack of closure on life experiences in our past can prevent the activation of our learning new coping skills. By working with a qualified helping professional a person can gain closure to unresolved conflicts, and move forward through life with a sense of mastery and resilience.

http://clinicalhypnotism.com

Help is just a phone call away 631.473.0405

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