When someone experiences a major life disruption, such as, the death of a loved one, a relationship break up, serious illness or auto crash, becomes a victim of crime or survives a natural disaster, it may not always be best to take medication immediately. When emotional pain is alleviated with medication (or through alcohol or street drugs) the person’s motivation to make changes is lowered, and what can be learned by going through the process of managing emotional pain can be missed.
Of course, there are times when medication is useful and necessary, especially if a person is having suicidal thoughts that may accompany clinical depression. This is a medical decision between the person and their doctor. This article is intended to give general information, and not to recommend treatment, which are decisions made by persons together with their healthcare provider.
When we experience a life disruption or crisis we need time to gain insight into what has gone wrong and work toward integration. Emotional pain, while unpleasant serves a purpose, just as acute physical pain does in alerting us that something has gone wrong in our body. Pain signals us to take action. The purpose of emotional pain is to move us to learn new ways of coping.
There are some strategies that people in a state of crisis use to successfully deal with emotional pain. These methods do not end the pain, which has value, but they offer us some relief from the emotional pains.
Sometimes we need to remove ourselves, so we can create a diversion, by planning a short trip, reading a book, talking with a friend, or getting some exercise. Diversion allows us time away from the problem so that when we actively attend to it again, we may look at it in a “different light” or with “fresh eyes”.
Another strategy for coping with emotional pain is to take charge of those aspects of your life that you still have some ability to control. Often a major life disruption can leave us feeling like life is spiraling away – totally out of control. However, we can do some of our routines and self-care, and let the things that are uncontrollable run their course.
Finally, we can find someone who can show us empathy. Reliving emotional pain by talking with a trusted friend or therapist is an effective strategy. It is helpful when someone can say with caring and conviction that they understand and care about your pain.
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